Today marks a milestone in my life. Four years ago only a day or so off from Coming Out Day, I came out. At the time I didn’t even know there was even a day dedicated to Coming Out. I find that it is amazing that the time I chose to finally say the words that were so hard to say for so long, was during the time to celebrate Coming Out. At the time I was married with 2 teenage kids. My wife (now ex) gave her blessing for me to live my truth. My best friend was there and he had known for a while, even though I hadn’t said the words.
After that weekend, life was a roller coaster for a few months. In December of that year, my home of 20 years burned to beyond repair. My family moved in with my best friend until we could find a new place. In May, 5 months after the fire, my wife moved into her own apartment (the kids stayed with me). In August, I found my forever home, just one block from my best friend. The kids and I moved in by October (had to do painting, buy appliances….).
Even after all this, I am in a much better place. I am happy. It took a while (and I’m still working on) to let go of all the things I had been taught to believe. Things that made me live in fear of being sent away, or not being loved by God. The fear of losing my family, friends, and kids. Scared of losing my job, home, and anything I had worked for over the last 20+ years.
I didn’t lose those things. I still have my job, my kids, my home, and a few more friends than I had before. I gained a sense of worth, love, and piece of mind. I was finally true to myself and the people I loved.
So on this National Coming Out Day, feel free to be yourself. If you are ready, tell someone. If you’re not ready, the time will come. Know that you are loved and appreciated. Be kind to yourself. Find your Framily (Friends who become family). Once you are comfortable, push the clothes aside and open the door. A whole new world will be waiting.
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Rusty Needles Knitting 